Oh come on America! Seriously.



I hate it when my favorite country makes me sad.

What a load of shit

Because sharing is caring.

One of my colleagues at the hotel has got mumps. I didn't even know mumps still existed.

I have never had it and I don't remember ever having had some kind of immunization for it either. I do however remember my Mum making us play with children with mumps so that we would contract it while we were younger. Apparently mumps later in life can be dangerous for a number of reasons.

So when I arrived at the reception this evening my colleague was sat here with his neck all swollen like he was wearing a skin colored neck brace. What he was doing here with a contagious illness is beyond me, but I made it clear that I will not be amused if I get sick.

However knowing my luck I will contract it on July 30th.

I started reading the Bible. I'm ashamed to say I actually had to look at the cover to check the spelling, that's pretty bad. Anyway, I wanted to see what the hell all the fuss was about and to be fair I have read Mein Kampf and The Satanic Verses so I figured no harm in a little balance. Plus I already know all the famous bits about Noah, Moses and Sodom and Gamorrah.

I "borrowed" a copy from the hotel which I fully intend to return when I am done. Although I did ponder over whether stealing a free Bible would be considered a sin. I wonder why hotels still have Bibles in the rooms? Or rather why those Gideon people still supply them. It is obviously fueled by good intent but it seems a trifle misguided to assume the average Amsterdam tourist requires spiritual enlightenment whilst on a quest to get stoned and laid.

That said, the red light district is built around a church so the sailors of times gone by could kill two birds with one stone.

Anyway, when I got home from work this morning I poured myself a glass of wine, rolled a joint and opened the Bible. No sooner had I started reading, which was something about Jesus and his mates, a giant beam of sunlight shone through my window and all the birds started singing.

Frankly I was a bit freaked out so I promptly closed the book and necked my wine. If that was "a sign" I really wasn't ready.

I fully intend on reading the whole thing though. Aside from the fact I am an avid reader it seems like something I should have read. Besides, it couldn't possibly do any harm... amarite?

*waits for lightening to strike*

When I get homesick I'm never actually sure what I am homesick for, Wales or the USA. I realize how ridiculous that sounds coming from a British person but to be fair it is a long time since I have lived in the UK and I have lived in the States twice since then. What I miss isn't necessarily a country or a nation of people and ideals. I miss country life, something I never thought I would hear myself say and something I thought I would never crave when I left wales 17 years ago and moved to London. All the reasons I wanted to live in a city no longer apply, I have grown out of the lifestyle that suited me most and completely reverted to type.

Kevin and I have talked about our dreams together and our plans for the future and one dream we share is to move to a trailer somewhere in rural Kentucky, which after closer inspection would not be too unlike life in Wales. Of course Wales can actually offer us assylum the life we want to lead and the legality we so desire but with so many other investments state side it seems like an unobtainable fantasy right now.

It's dreaming of the future and all the possibilities that are getting me through right now.

( The Dream )

( The Soundtrack )

Happy Fireworks Day!

I love hot weather, LOVE IT, but not when I need to sleep.

For the last 2 days my bedroom has been reaching temperatures somewhere in the 90's. The flat metal roof being a contributing factor combined with the deliciously tropical weather we have had of late, is making Amsterdam very hot indeed. I would ordinarily be lapping it up were it not for the fact that I NEED TO SLEEP

Working night shifts is slowly but surely killing me.

I haven't slept for 2 days and I am starting to get a little stir crazy. So much so I even entertained the notion of buying homeopathic medicine to the point of buying some.

I went into the shop which I'm sure was not too unlike Professor Snape's potions store room at Hogwarts and told the sales clerk I needed something strong to help me. He pulled out a little bottle from under the counter and explained to me that this was the mother of all sleep medications and I would later thank him for suggesting it. I would receive 30 of these miraculous pills for the bargain price of 45 euros. FORTY FIVE EUROS!

Needless to say I opted for a cheaper, albeit not so cheap version which on closer inspection turned out to be nothing more than vitamins and minerals designed to inspire serotonin release and promote a good nights sleep. Basically chocolate.

Strangely though, I think they are actually starting to wor......

I need y'all to do me a favor. At least all you good folks on facebook.

Please log onto facebook, click this link and become a fan of MY MAN's business. That's all you have to do to make 2 people very happy. Not hard at all right?

The consequences of not doing so are minimum but I can't promise not to sit in a corner and pout rather than talk to you ever again. Just kidding...

Click the damn link... I am desperate to help out Mark, show me the way!

Thank you!

The pub seems so quiet these days now that everyone has gone!



It was good to get out of the house these last 2 evenings. Caught up with some friends and made some new ones.

( Nog eentje om het af te leren )

I hate this job so much. I have never been so unhappy with my employment as I am now. The job itself is dull and I am over qualified to be mopping floors and setting breakfast tables.

The conditions are terrible, there must be laws protecting me from working somewhere so warm with so little ventilation.

The pay is minimal.

The hours are plain unhealthy. I look like shit, my skin has taken on a strange sort of embalmed look having been starved of sunlight for so long and I have dark circles around my eyes.

I had a great job with wonderful pay, conditions and hours before I went to Atlanta.

In a nutshell, I would rather jump in a canal than ever have to come here again. FML.

Which is a crying shame considering I have apparently been learning it for 2 years now.

There were some Icelanders at the hotel for breakfast and as always is with my language skills I can't wait for the opportunity to show them off. Even when it is abundantly clear that I don't have any. I clumsily stumbled through a few sentences this morning much to the amusement of the northern guests.

I like to think that it is a rare thing for them to go on vacation and meet someone attempting to communicate with them in their own language, so perhaps it throws them off for a moment. However judging by their blank expressions they may well have assumed I was talking to them in Dutch.

Or maybe Icelandic people are like the French, the slightest grammatical error offends them so greatly they refuse to listen any longer, much less attempt to comprehend what you are trying to say. I doubt it though, having been to Iceland I can say that was certainly not the impression I got from the locals.

Regardless it became painfully clear that I have been somewhat slacking in the learning department recently and need to pull my finger out and get back with the program. My dreams of becoming a bird watcher in Bolungarvík may have changed but my desire to be multilingual in a wealth of languages remains the same.

Time to switch from Wichita's greatest country music station (KFDI 101.3 FM) back to Útvarp Saga FM from Reykjavik.

Why is everyone acting like Princess Diana died all over again?

A day ago Michael Jackson was the subject of much ridicule and hardly anyone has been able to suffer him since he was accused of child molestation. Now suddenly he is dead and everyone is clambering around to talk about how he affected their lives and how is passing has saddened them deeply.

How many of you bought his last album? None of you, that's who! In fact, he hasn't done anything notable in years with the exception of stir up controversy for himself. It's all very well mourning him now but wouldn't that energy have been better spent when his career died 10 years ago?

YES, almost everyone has at least one Michael Jackson album and YES he was an incredibly talented man in his hay day. This is no reason to behave like a saint just died. Seriously, get a grip!

He died a guilty penniless man on the verge of a comeback. Tis sad, but seriously folks, stop jumping on the drama bandwagon for fucks sake!

Apparently there is a commemorative thing taking place on the Dam Square today. Really? REALLY? Well that was quick! Almost as if the organizers have been on standby for years, which of course they very well may have.

( R.I.P Wacko! )

I know I have done a lot of gushing (and sobbing) recently about how wonderful my boyfriend is, well I'm not done gushing, not by a country mile.

The thing is, just when I think he couldn't be any more wonderful, he goes and ups himself.

After reading my previous entry about my embarrassingly poverty stricken self, Kevin came to my rescue and saved the day. He jumped in hs car in the middle of the night and drove first to an ATM followed by the liquor store where he wired me some money through Western Union. It is waiting for me at the local office when I finish work.

I feel very humble and choked but above all I feel truly very lucky. I love an amazing man.

I am a financial ruin, on the breadline, completely broke!

I went to the ATM this morning slid my card in the slot and was met with that dreaded statement... You have insufficient funds.

WHAT?

I rushed home and went online to check and the machine was right. My bank account is not only empty but in the red. A combination of some unexpected emergencies and unforeseen bills have wiped me out. I have a $20 bill and a small handful of euro change.

Not to worry I thought, payday is in 4 days. WRONG! This being my first pay check from the new job it will take longer to process, possibly up to 8 days longer.

I have no food, all my bathroom essentials ran out yesterday and the people who owe me money don't have any. I will have to wait up to 2 weeks with an empty wallet.

Basically, I am royally FUCKED!

So last night I bid farewell to Brandon and Nicole. As is usually the case the evening included copious amounts of alcohol, dancing, hugging and swinging around a poll. Just an average night out in Amsterdam really with the sad inconvenience of having to say goodbye at the end.

One of the coolest things Amsterdam has to offer is the visitors that come here. I have met so many wonderful people in this city, people I still see to this day. In fact the most important people in my entire life I met while they were vacationing here.

It breaks my heart that everyone leaves.

Brandon was a sweetheart, a real nice guy and Nicole was simply fabulous. Not only is she a damn good kisser, but one helluva photographer! Happy dear? I'll miss 'em.

( A Very Large Dump )

If I had a dollar for all the people I miss, I could almost afford a plane ticket to visit the people I miss the most.

Sometimes I hate living in Amsterdam, now is most definitely one of those times.

Living in the city center is like living on a year round construction site. They never stop building. This city must be like, a thousand years old or something. Who cares? You'd think it would be FINISHED BY NOW!

It will never be finished. It is a painstaking and trust me, LOUD ongoing project to stop this crumbling shambles from turning into dust and sinking into the swamp.

But you would think in all their years of arduous labor they would have developed a way to build shit quietly! Seriously, is it really necessary to hammer a brick house together?

I need to SLEEP!

Kevin is coming to Amsterdam!

( I'm so happy I could shit! )

Stolen form wollif

Don’t take too long to think about it.
Ten books you’ve read that will always stick with you.
First ten you can recall in no more than 10 minutes.

• Rant - Chuck Palahniuk
  
• To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
  
• Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
  
• And I Don't Want To Live This Life - Deborah Spungen
  
• The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas - John Boyne
  
• A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
  
• Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
  
• Angels & Demons - Dan Brown
  
• The Lost Continent - Bill Bryson
  
• The Five People You Meet in Heaven - Mitch Albom
  

EVERYONE should read these books!